Subject: let's run through the rain
(Or: What REALLY happened behind that feelgood spam letter we all received!
One day a little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Wal-Mart. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Wal-Mart.
We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing so carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome Reprieve from the worries of my day.
The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in "Mom, let's run through the rain," she said.
"What?" Mom asked.
"Let's run through the rain!" She repeated.
"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.
This young child waited about another minute and, gritting her teeth, repeated, "Mom, let's run through the rain!"
"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said. "No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," The young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.
"This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?"
"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"
The mother snickered. "Don't believe everything you hear, Honey!"
The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything except the rain. It was at that moment I turned, and saw the daughter, eyes cold and skin clammy, aiming a Smith & Wesson right between Mommy's eyes.
"So God can't get us through Dad's cancer?"
We all froze.
"Maybe God can't get us through Dad's cancer, but I bet this piece of steel I hold can get you into the rain."
"Now, baby," said a stunned Mom, "you misunderstand what I'm saying, I…"
"Are you sending Daddy to a puppy farm, just like you said you did with Fluffy?"
Mom gasped.
"You think I'll believe any of your lies after that?" She cocked the gun and hissed "You lied to me mother!" out of one side of her mouth, the other side going into lip-spasms.
Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would tip-toe quietly away out of harm's way. Some might even try to sneak up and grab the gun out of the little girl's trembling hands. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when, if innocent trust is not nurtured, it will go boom.
"Honey, you are absolutely right," trembled Mom, unable to think of anything logical, trying to stall for time. "Let's run through the rain."
"If GOD let's us get wet, well maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.
"No, Mom. God wants to see if you can outrun six bullets. You run through the rain." The girl now blazed full fledged crazy-eyes, and foam began to flow out the quivering side of her mouth.
Mom took a few shaky steps backward. Was her jaw trembling because of the cold rain that began to patter down on her now pale face?
Mom turned and ran for it. We all stood watching, smiling and laughing as she darted past the cars, shoving innocent shoppers into the line of fire and, yes, through the puddles. Losing her footing, she grabbed onto a lamppost. Seeing her daughter squeeze the trigger, she held her shopping bag in front of her as a shield. BLAM! The first bullet popped the shopping bag like a balloon, and got Mom's blood sprayed every which way! BLAM! The next shot spun Mom three-quarters and she landed face first into the puddle.
Shoppers and cowardly Wal-Mart guards screamed and ran like children all the way to their cars. The girl saw a gaunt old man shakily mount his Little Rascal Scooter™. BLAM! She blew him right off his scooter, and cackled merrily as his head cracked against the curb, and all the while he sputtered "Not like this!" BLAM! She shot the hand off a frantic shopper that reminded her of Kathy Lee Gifford.
She looked over at her fallen mother, who was desperately trying to sprawl through a dirty puddle to her car, her legs beginning to seizure. She gurgled something inconceivable to her daughter, beet red blood dribbling from her mouth. BLAM! She pounded one more bullet into Mom's skull, and I stared in horror as Mommy's eyes rolled up into her head upon expiration.
The little girl turned and looked at me. She grinned. "Somebody's staring at me….it's not polite to stare, Mommy told me so! You should not have looked at me. But you might want to run."
And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed to get out of there.
But in my panic, I slipped on the wet surface and fell face first onto the wet pavement. Dazed, I tried to get back up on my feet.
She was walking toward me, slowly and evenly, rain trickling down her freckled face, her gun aimed right in my face.
And then, a curious thing happened. Her mad gaze vanished, and the expression of thoughtfulness appeared on her face, and then she began….she began counting: "One, two, three, four, five, and…… I shot five BLAM-BLAMs! Shit!" she cursed. "Only one bullet left!"
The sinister look then returned to her face, and while my mind was wildly trying to decide which deity and prayer I should suddenly embrace, a miraculous thing happened… The little girl gently slid the gun into her mouth, grinned, and BLAM!
Her head exploded into a glorious liquid firework…her head, that was so tiny that there was now not even a trace of face, tooth, or hair upon her cadaver, which wiggled and jerked as it collapsed like a marionette to the ground.
Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, but Wal-Mart can sell you firearms. So, if you're walking outside a Wal-Mart on a rainy evening shortly after closing time, and see a headless child-zombie walking toward you with a big-ass gun gripped in its tiny fingers, don't stop to see if your senses deceive you, just run like Hell. And be certain you tell everybody you know (especially your boss at work) that you saw this hideous sight. They will praise you for your psychic abilities, I swear they will. A friend sent this to me to remind me of life. Hope you enjoy it. I HOPE YOU WASTE NO TIME RUNNING THROUGH THE RAIN.
They say it takes a minute to find members of a religious cult, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them. Send this to the people you wish you could forget, and remember to also send it to the person who sent it to you. It's a short message to let them know that you'll never forget them, because no matter how hard you try, you hear their voices berating you when you try to sleep at night. If you don't send it to anyone, it means you're in a hurry… or really paranoid. Take the time to live!!!
Keep in touch with your friends; you never know when you'll need each other -- and don't forget to run like hell through the rain from that headless girl in the Strawberry-Shortcake shirt.!
God makes everything but unbreakable dentures.